AND KICK YOU RIGHT OUT.
IT'S JUST LOVELY.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE FAKE FIRE?
OKAY.
IT'S REALLY A WONDERFUL ROOM.
IT IS NOW.
I DON'T KNOW, PHIL.
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS.
I DON'T, EITHER.
NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK WE SHOULD.
IT'S THE PERFECT END TO A PERFECT DAY.
WELL, IT'S A LITTLE FAST FOR ME.
ME TOO.
MAYBE I SHOULD GO.
WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
WHY?
WE'VE GOT A PERFECT FIRE.
I'VE GOT SOME FRENCH POETRY HERE.
BAUDELAIRE?
C'EST FANTASTIQUE.
I WILL READ TO YOU.
I'VE GOT SOME ICE CREAM OVER ON THE WINDOWSILL.
HOLD ON A MINUTE.
ROCKY ROAD.
OH, I LOVE ROCKY ROAD.
YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.
YOU HAVE TO STAY.
NO, REALLY, PHIL, I'M TIRED.
WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER TOMORROW.
NO.
TONIGHT.
IT'S GOT TO BE TONIGHT.
NO, PHIL, REALLY.
COME ON, JUST STAY FOR A WHILE
AND IF YOU LIKE IT, STAY FOR A WHILE LONGER.
LET'S NOT SPOIL IT, OKAY?
I'M NOT SPOILING IT.
I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT, EITHER.
YOU KNOW I CAN'T STAY WITH YOU.
WHY NOT?
I LOVE YOU.
YOU LOVE ME?
I LOVE YOU.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
OH, I KNOW YOU.
I KNOW YOU.
OH, NO. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS.
THIS WHOLE DAY HAS JUST BEEN ONE LONG SETUP.
NO, IT HASN'T.
AND I HATE FUDGE.
YUCK.
NO WHITE CHOCOLATE, NO FUDGE.
ARE YOU MAKING SOME KIND OF LIST OR SOMETHING?
DID YOU CALL UP MY FRIENDS AND ASK
WHAT I LIKE AND DON'T LIKE?
IS THIS WHAT LOVE IS FOR YOU?
NO, THIS IS REAL.
STOP SAYING THAT.
YOU MUST BE CRAZY.
I COULD NEVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU
BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER LOVE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE MYSELF.
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
THAT'S FOR MAKING ME CARE ABOUT YOU.
I HAVEN'T DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID.
ME NEITHER.
IT'S FUN.
AND GOOD, CLEAN FUN TOO.
GOSH, I CAN'T WAIT TO DO THIS WITH MY OWN CHILDREN.
I WANT KIDS, LOTS OF KIDS.
I WANT TO ADOPT.
I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN KIDS.
I WANT TO HAVE FOSTER KIDS.
HEY, SOME KID JUST THREW A SNOWBALL AT US.
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.
COME ON.
HEY, KIDS, COME ON.
I WISH THESE WERE MY OWN KIDS HITTING ME LIKE THAT.
HEY!
OW, OW! ARE ANY OF YOU UP FOR ADOPTION?
HERE'S A HUMDINGER OVER HERE.
WASN'T THAT GREAT?
STOP IT.
## STRIKE UP THE MUSIC ##
## THE BAND HAS BEGUN ##
PHIL! OVER HERE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
PHIL, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
ROUGH NIGHT?
YEAH.
OKAY, CAMPERS, RISE AND SHINE.
AND DON'T FORGET YOUR BOOTIES
'CAUSE IT'S COLD OUT THERE TODAY.
IT'S COLD OUT THERE EVERY DAY.
WHAT IS MEXICO?
Leslie?
What is Mexico?
Lakes and rivers, $400.
WHAT ARE THE FINGER LAKES?
Jim: What are the Finger Lakes?
THAT'S AMAZING.
This South American lake drains into the...
WHAT IS TITICACA?
...in Bolivia. Jim?
What is Titicaca? Correct!
Lakes and rivers for $1,000.
Milky colored from glacial clay...
WHAT IS THE RHONE?
when entering Lake Geneva
this river is clear blue upon exiting. Jim?
What is the Rhone?
The Rhone. Good for $1,000.
You are $500 off the lead right now.
VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD.
THIS IS PITIFUL.
1,000 PEOPLE FREEZING THEIR BUTTS OFF
WAITING TO WORSHIP A RAT.
WHAT A HYPE.
GROUNDHOG DAY
USED TO MEAN SOMETHING IN THIS TOWN.
THEY USED TO PULL THE HOG OUT AND EAT IT.
YOU'RE HYPOCRITES, ALL OF YOU!
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH WHAT I'M SAYING, LARRY?
UNTIE YOUR TONGUE.
COME HERE AND TALK.
AM I UPSETTING YOU
PRINCESS?
YOU KNOW, YOU WANT A PREDICTION ABOUT THE WEATHER
YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG PHIL.
I'LL GIVE YOU A WINTER PREDICTION.
IT'S GOING TO BE COLD...
IT'S GOING TO BE GRAY...
AND IT'S GOING TO LAST YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
## Then put your little hand in mine... ##
(clattering)
## Then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mount... ##
## Then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
(clattering)
(tinny and distorted:) ## I got you, babe. ##
ONCE AGAIN, THE EYES OF THE NATION
HAVE TURNED HERE, TO THIS...
TINY VILLAGE IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA
BLAH, BLAH-BLAH, BLAH-BLAH.
THERE IS NO WAY THAT THIS WINTER ISEVERGOING TO END
AS LONG AS THIS GROUNDHOG KEEPS SEEING HIS SHADOW.
I DON'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY.
HE'S GOT TO BE STOPPED.
AND I HAVE TO STOP HIM.
REAL GOOD, PHIL.
REAL GOOD.
HE'S OUT OF HIS GOURD.
I'M WORRIED.
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING REALLYWRONG WITH PHIL.
YEAH.
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS REALLY WRONG WITH PHIL.
OH, HI, PHIL.
I'VE COME TO THE END OF ME, RITA.
THERE'S NO WAY OUT NOW.
I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAY TOGETHER ONCE.
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE FELLA, GOOD JOB.
HE JUST SMILED AT ME!
DID YOU SEE THAT?
I BELIEVE HE DID.
(both laughing)
OKAY, LITTLE FELLA, THERE YOU GO.
HI, THERE, MISTER.
SOMETHING I CAN DO YOU FOR?
HEY!
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
HEY!
JAKE! GET THE WORD OUT!
SOMEBODY KIDNAPPED PHIL!
WE'RE GOING AFTER HIM.
(tires screeching)
WHY WOULD ANYBODY STEAL A GROUNDHOG?
I CAN THINK OF A COUPLE OF REASONS.
PERVERT.
HE MUST HAVE JUST SNAPPED.
THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.
(tires screeching)
WHAT IS HE DOING?
WHAT CAN HE BE THINKING?
THAT'S NOT BAD FOR A QUADRUPED.
YOU GOT TO CHECK YOUR MIRRORS.
JUST SIDE OF YOUR EYE.
THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
HEY, THEY'RE CHASING US!
COME ON, MAKE IT FUN.
(squawks)
DON'T DRIVE ANGRY.
DON'T DRIVE ANGRY!
HOT DOG! THERE'S NO WAY OUT EXCEPT THE WAY WE CAME IN.
WE GOT HIM NOW.
(truck engine revving)
(truck engine revving louder)
WHAT THE HELL
IS HE DOING?
I DON'T KNOW.
IF YOU SHOOT, AIM HIGH.
DON'T HIT THE GROUNDHOG.
WE MUSTN'T KEEP OUR PUBLIC WAITING.
(chattering and whimpering)
IT'S SHOW TIME, PHIL.
ALL RIGHT, ON ME, LARRY, IN THREE...
TWO...
ONE...
PHIL!
HE MIGHT BE OKAY.
WELL, NO, PROBABLY NOT NOW.
## Then put your little hand in mine... ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
AW, NUTS.
DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS?
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME, UH, TOAST?
(crackling)
OH, MY GOD!
(honking)
(tires screeching)
(thud)
(church bells ringing)
THAT'S HIM.
HE WAS A... REALLY, REALLY GREAT GUY.
I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM.
A LOT.
I'M SORRY? WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?
I'M A GOD.
YOU'RE A GOD.
I'MAGOD, I'M NOTTHE GOD... I DON'T THINK.
BECAUSE YOU SURVIVED A CAR WRECK?
YOU FOLKS READY?
I DIDN'T JUST SURVIVE A WRECK.
I WASN'T JUST BLOWN UP.
I HAVE BEEN STABBED, SHOT, POISONED
FROZEN, HUNG, ELECTROCUTED
AND BURNED.
OH, REALLY?
EVERY MORNING, I WAKE UP WITHOUT A SCRATCH...
NOT A DENT IN THE FENDER.
I AM AN IMMORTAL.
SPECIAL TODAY IS BLUEBERRY WAFFLES.
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?
BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BELIEVE IN ME.
YOU'RE NOT A GOD.
TAKE MY WORD.
THIS IS 12 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL TALKING.
I COULD COME BACK IF YOU'RE NOT READY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M NOT A GOD?
OH, PLEASE!
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!
(whispering:) I'LL COME BACK.
DORIS.
THIS IS DORIS.
HER BROTHER-IN-LAW
OWNS THIS DINER.
SHE'S WORKED HERE SINCE SHE WAS 17.
MORE THAN ANYTHING
SHE WANTS TO SEE PARIS BEFORE SHE DIES.
OH, BOY, WOULD I.
THIS IS DEBBIE KLEISER AND HER FIANCEE.
DO I KNOW YOU?
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED TODAY
BUT DEBBIE IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS.
WHAT?!
LOVELY RING.
THIS IS BILL.
HE'S BEEN A WAITER SINCE HE LEFT PENN STATE.
HE LIKES THE TOWN, HE PAINTS TOY SOLDIERS
AND HE'S GAY.
I AM.
THIS IS GUS.
HE WISHES HE STAYED IN THE NAVY.
I COULD HAVE RETIRED ON HALF-PAY AFTER 20 YEARS.
IS THIS SOME TRICK?
MAYBE THE REAL GOD USES TRICKS.
MAYBE HE'S NOT OMNIPOTENT.
HE'S BEEN AROUND SO LONG HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
OKAY. WHO'S THAT?
THIS IS TOM. HE WORKED IN THE MINE.
AND HER?
THAT'S ALICE, FROM IRELAND.
SHE LIVED IN EERIE.
HE'S RIGHT.
AND HER?
NANCY. SHE MAKES NOISES LIKE A CHIPMUNK
WHEN SHE GETS EXCITED.
HEY!
IT'S TRUE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM?
I KNOW EVERYTHING.
IN FIVE SECONDS, A WAITER WILL DROP A TRAY.
FIVE, FOUR...
THIS IS NUTS.
OKAY?
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
WHAT ABOUT ME, PHIL?
DO YOU KNOW ME TOO?
YOU LIKE PRODUCING
BUT YOU'RE HOPING FOR MORE THAN CHANNEL 9, PITTSBURGH.
WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YOU LIKE BOATS, BUT NOT THE OCEAN.
YOU GO TO A LAKE IN THE SUMMER WITH YOUR FAMILY.
THERE'S A WOODEN DOCK
AND A BOATHOUSE WITH BOARDS MISSING FROM THE ROOF
AND A PLACE YOU CRAWLED UNDERNEATH TO BE ALONE.
YOU'RE A SUCKER FOR FRENCH POETRY
AND RHINESTONES.
YOU'RE VERY GENEROUS.
YOU'RE KIND TO STRANGERS AND CHILDREN
AND WHEN YOU STAND IN THE SNOW
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL.
HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?
I TOLD YOU.
I WAKE UP EVERY DAY RIGHT HERE
RIGHT IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, AND IT'S ALWAYS FEBRUARY 2
AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
IF YOU STILL CAN'T BELIEVE ME, LISTEN:
IN TEN SECONDS
LARRY IS GOING TO COME THROUGH THAT DOOR
AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, BUT YOU CAN'T LET HIM.
LARRY?
PLEASE, BELIEVE ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
YOU GUYS READY?
WE BETTER GET GOING
IF WE'RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER.
WHAT'S THAT?
"...IF WE'RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER."
MAYBE IT REALLY IS HAPPENING.
I MEAN, HOW ELSE COULD YOU KNOW SO MUCH?
THERE IS NO WAY.
I'M NOT THAT SMART.
MAYBE I SHOULD SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY WITH YOU
AS AN OBJECTIVE WITNESS, JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
GEE, THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT.
CONCENTRATE.
YOU GOT TO WANT IT.
YOU'VE GOT TO WANT IT, RITA.
OH, COME ON.
IT'S MORE IN THE WRISTS THAN THE FINGERS.
YOU JUST GOT TO...
(whistles tunelessly)
(laughs)
BE THE HAT, COME ON, GO.
BE THE HAT.
IT WOULD TAKE ME A YEAR TO GET GOOD AT THIS.
NO. SIX MONTHS, FIVE HOURS A DAY
AND YOU'D BE AN EXPERT.
IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WITH ETERNITY?
NOW YOU KNOW.
THAT'S NOT THE WORST PART.
WHAT'S THE WORST PART?
THE WORST PART IS THAT
TOMORROW, YOU WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THIS
AND YOU'LL TREAT ME LIKE A JERK AGAIN.
NO!
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I AM A JERK.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
I'VE KILLED MYSELF SO MANY TIMES
I DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE.
WELL, SOMETIMES, I WISH I HAD A THOUSAND LIFETIMES.
I DON'T KNOW, PHIL.
MAYBE IT'S NOT A CURSE.
IT JUST DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.
GOSH, YOU'RE AN UPBEAT LADY.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IT'S BEEN A REALLY NICE DAY FOR ME.
ME TOO.
ANDMAYBE, IF IT'S NOT TOO BORING
WE COULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
I HOPE SO.
YOU'RE STILL HERE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISAPPEAR
OR I WAS, OR SOMETHING.
NOT UNTIL 6:00.
OH! YOU RAT!
I NEVER SAID MIDNIGHT.
YOU KNEW I WAS WAITING FOR MIDNIGHT.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE?
NO.
GOOD.
OKAY.
OH, I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP.
I PROMISE I WON'T TOUCH YOU...
HMM...
...MUCH.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M... I'M NOT TIRED.
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
I THINK THE LAST THING THAT YOU HEARD
WAS, "ONLY GOD CAN MAKE A TREE."
REALLY.
WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS
I THINK YOU'RE THE KINDEST, SWEETEST, PRETTIEST PERSON
THAT I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE
THAT'S NICER TO PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE.
HMM...
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU, SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME.
I NEVER TOLD YOU, BUT...
I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO HOLD YOU
AS HARD AS I COULD.
(sighing)
I DON'T DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
BUT IF I EVER COULD
I SWEAR, I WOULD LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
GOOD NIGHT, RITA.
GOOD NIGHT, PHIL.
## Then put your little hand in mine ##
## 'Cause there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb ##
## Babe ##
## I got you, babe ##
## I got you, babe. ##
Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine
and don't forget your booties, 'cause it's cold out there.
Deejay #2: It's cold out there every day.
What is this, Miami Beach?
Deejay #1: Not hardly.
UH..?
(gasping)
## STRIKE UP THE MUSIC ##
## THE BAND HAS BEGUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## PICK UP YOUR PARTNER AND JOIN IN THE FUN ##
## THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA ##
## IT STARTED IN SCRANTON, IT'S NOW NUMBER ONE... ##
WHO WANTS COFFEE?
GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT.
OH, THANKS, PHIL.
LARRY?
SKIM MILK, TWO SUGAR.
YEAH, THANKS, PHIL.
PASTRY?
NO, WE'RE SETTING UP.
PASTRY, LARRY? TAKE YOUR PICK.
THANKS, PHIL.
RASPBERRY. GREAT.
I WAS TALKING WITH BUSTER GREEN, THE HEAD GROUNDHOG HONCHO.
IF WE SET UP OVER HERE, WE MIGHT GET A BETTER SHOT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SOUNDS GOOD.
LARRY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YEAH, LET'S GO FOR IT.
GOOD WORK, PHIL.
MAYBE WE'LL GET LUCKY.
LET ME GIVE YOU
A HAND WITH THE HEAVY STUFF.
NO, NO, NO, YOU GOT YOUR COFFEE.
I'LL GET IT.
WE NEVER TALK, LARRY.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
(classical piano music playing)
YES?
YES, I'D LIKE A PIANO LESSON, PLEASE.
I'M WITH A STUDENT, BUT COME BACK TOMORROW...
WELL, I KIND OF WANT TO GET STARTED.
I COULD GIVE YOU $1,000.
COME ON IN.
(playing C scale)
MORNING!
OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG.
BUON GIORNO, SIGNORE.
YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE AN EARLY SPRING?
"WINTER, SLUMBERING IN THE OPEN AIR
WEARS ON HIS SMILING FACE A DREAM OF SPRING."
CIAO.
(playing arpeggios haltingly)
PHIL!
RITA, HI.
HEY, LAR, HI.
HOW'S SHE LOOK?
GREAT.
THANK YOU.
DID YOU KNOW HE COULD ICE SCULPT?
NO.
(playing "La Bouree Du Celibataire")
NOT BAD, MR. CONNORS.
YOU SAY THIS IS YOUR FIRST LESSON?
YES, BUT MY FATHER WAS A PIANO MOVER, SO...
PHIL? PHIL CONNORS, I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU.
NED RYERSON.
YES.
I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE HEADED
BUT CAN YOU CALL IN SICK?
UH...
I GOT TO GET GOING.
UH... IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, PHIL.
HELLO, FATHER.
LET'S GET YOU SOMEPLACE WARM, ALL RIGHT?
YOU...
YEAH. YEAH, REMEMBER ME?
SIR, ARE YOU THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE OLD MAN IN?
MM-HMM. HOW IS HE?
WELL, HE JUST PASSED AWAY.
WHAT DID HE DIE OF?
HE WAS JUST OLD.
IT WAS JUST HIS TIME.
I WANT TO SEE HIS CHART.
EXCUSE ME.
UM, SIR...
SIR, YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE.
SIR, THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA.
WHERE'S THE CHART?
SOMETIMES, PEOPLE JUST DIE.
NOT TODAY.
IT'S HARD DOWN THERE AT THE BOTTOM.
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
COME ON, DAD.
COME ON, POP. COME ON, POP.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, BREATHE.
BREATHE, POP.
BREATHE, POP!
WHEN CHEKHOV SAW THE LONG WINTER
HE SAW A WINTER BLEAK AND DARK AND BEREFT OF HOPE
YET WE KNOW THAT WINTER IS JUST ANOTHER STEP
IN THE CYCLE OF LIFE.
BUT STANDING HERE AMONG THE PEOPLE OF PUNXSUTAWNEY
AND BASKING IN THE WARMTH OF THEIR HEARTHS AND HEARTS
I COULDN'T IMAGINE A BETTER FATE
THAN A LONG AND LUSTROUS WINTER.
FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, IT'S PHIL CONNORS.
SO LONG.
NICE SPEECH, PHIL. VERY NICE.
THANKS.
HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU TWO?
HEY, MAN, YOU TOUCHED ME.
THANKS, LARRY.
THANK YOU.
I GOT TO GO, OKAY.
PHIL, THAT WAS... SURPRISING.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SO VERSATILE.
I SURPRISE MYSELF SOMETIMES.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE?
I'D LOVE TO.
CAN I HAVE A RAIN CHECK?
I'VE GOT SOME ERRANDS I'VE GOT TO RUN, OKAY?
PHIL...
ERRANDS? WHAT ERRANDS?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING BACK.
HEY, HOLD IT, FELLA!
(yelling)
(groaning)
WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU LITTLE BRAT?
YOU HAVE NEVER THANKED ME.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
MAYBE.
(groaning)
NOW WHAT?
YOU'VE TOTALED IT.
IT'S ONLY A FLAT TIRE.
JUST BE PATIENT.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE.
IT'S NOT AN EARTHQUAKE.
WHAT IS IT?
OH, THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S NOTHING, MA'AM.
I HAD THE TIRE AND THE JACK.
JUST BE COMFORTABLE, ALL RIGHT?
BE A MINUTE.
WHO IS THAT?
MUST BE FROM THE MOTOR CLUB.
OH, MY GOD, HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
DO SOMETHING.
AN AMBULANCE, A LAWYER, ANYTHING.
OH, MY GOD.
(gasping)
I THINK THAT DID IT.
(panting)
IF YOU'RE GOING TO EAT STEAK
GET SOME SHARPER TEETH, ALL RIGHT?
ENJOY YOUR MEAL.
OH, THANK YOU.
WHO WAS THAT?
I'M FINE.
ARE YOU SURE?
OH, YES. EAT, EAT, EAT.
Larry: PEOPLE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS.
THIS IS AN ART FORM.
YOU KNOW, I THINK MOST PEOPLE JUST THINK
I HOLD THE CAMERA AND POINT IT AT STUFF
BUT THERE IS A LOT MORE TO IT THAN JUST THAT.
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED
IN SEEING THE INSIDE OF THE VAN?
OH, YOU KNOW
I REALLY HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE PARTY.
GREAT IDEA. I'LL GO WITH YOU.
LET ME JUST DROP A TIP HERE. OKAY.
RITA, HI. HOW ARE YOU?
RITA, THIS IS NANCY.
HI. HI.
WE WERE JUST GOING TO THE PARTY.
YOU GOING TO GO?
YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL PHIL.
I THINK HE'S ALREADY IN THERE.
GREAT.
(boogie-woogie piano playing)
(music stops)
(applause)
(playing ballad)
(playing jazz)
(playing rock)
ISN'T HE GOOD?
HE'S GREAT.
HE'S MY STUDENT.
I'M SO PROUD.
THANK YOU.
HELLO. WELCOME TO OUR PARTY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD PLAY LIKE THAT.
OH, I'M VERSATILE.
(slow dance music playing)
IT'S THAT NICE YOUNG MAN FROM THE MOTOR CLUB.
THANK YOU AGAIN.
IT'S NOTHING, LADIES.
HE'S THE FASTEST JACK IN JEFFERSON COUNTY.
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
THEY'VE BEEN HITTING ON ME ALL NIGHT.
THERE YOU ARE.
MM-MMM.
I NEVER THANKED YOU PROPERLY FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR BUSTER.
HE WOULD HAVE CHOKED FOR SURE.
WELL, HE MAY HAVE.
HE WAS TRYING TO SWALLOW A WHOLE COW.
I OWE YOU ONE, BUDDY.
HANG ONTO HIM, DEAR.
HE'S A REAL FIND.
WHAT DID YOUDOTODAY?
OH, SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
EXCUSE ME, MR. CONNORS.
HEY, FRED, HOW WAS THE WEDDING?
THANK YOU FOR MAKING DEBBIE GO THROUGH WITH IT.
ALL I DID WAS FAN THE FLAME FOR YOU, FRED.
YOU ARE THE BEST.
NO, YOU ARE THE BEST.
RITA, THIS IS DEBBIE AND FRED KLEISER.
HERE YOU GO, KIDS.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WHAT IS THIS?
NO WAY.
WRESTLEMANIA!
NO WAY!
YES!!
HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
WE'RE GOING TO BE IN PITTSBURGH.
THANK YOU, MR. CONNORS, YOU'RE A REAL PAL.
OH, THIS IS THE BEST.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
UH, YEAH, I GUESS NOT.
HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW YOU?
YOU COME ONCE A YEAR
AND YOU'RE THE MOST POPULAR PERSON IN TOWN.
DR. CONNORS, THANK YOU FOR FIXING FELIX'S BACK.
HE CAN EVEN HELP AROUND THE HOUSE AGAIN.
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT, FELIX.
DR. CONNORS?
IT'S KIND OF AN HONORARY TITLE.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU.
WOULD YOU LIKE THE LONG VERSION OR THE SHORT?
LET'S START WITH THE SHORT
AND GO FROM THERE.
OKAY, FOLKS. ATTENTION.
IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG BACHELOR AUCTION.
NOW, YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES.
ALL THE ELIGIBLE BACHELORS COME DOWN IN FRONT
AND YOU LADIES, YOU BID ON THEM.
YOU GET TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM
NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, AS LONG AS IT'S LEGAL.
SO GET OUT YOUR POCKETBOOKS
AND REMEMBER, IT'S ALL FOR CHARITY.
PHIL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
GO ON, GET UP THERE.
I GOT TEN BUCKS THAT SAYS YOU'RE MINE.
HEY, BUSTER, I GOT YOUR FIRST VICTIM.
PHIL CONNORS, COME ON UP HERE.
(band playing fanfare)
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID
FOR THIS FINE SPECIMEN?
FIVE DOLLARS.
THE BIDDING HAS BEGUN AT FIVE DOLLARS.
TEN DOLLARS.
FIFTEEN.
TWENTY.
TWENTY-FIVE.
THIRTY.
THIRTY-FIVE.
FORTY.
FORTY-FIVE.
FIFTY.
FIFTY-FIVE!
SIXTY.
I'M BID 60. DO I HEAR MORE?
$339.88.
(crowd gasping)
(applause)
I DON'T THINK
WE'RE GOING TO ACCEPT ANY MORE BIDS.
I THINK THAT'SSOLD TO THE LITTLE LADY
FOR $339.88.
(hammer pounds)
CONGRATULATIONS.
Buster: OKAY, BACHELORS, WHO'S NEXT?
(burlesque drumbeat plays)
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID FOR THIS... GUY?
DO I HEAR A BUCK AND A HALF?
ANYBODY?
75 CENTS?
I BID TWO BITS!
SOLD TO THE LADY FOR 25 CENTS.
I GOT HIM!
OH!
PHIL? PHIL CONNORS?
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
RITA, THIS IS NED RYERSON.
HE'S MY NEW INSURANCE AGENT.
I'LL SAY.
I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS GUY FOR 20 YEARS.
HE COMES UP TO ME AND BUYS WHOLE LIFE, TERM, UNIFLEX
FIRE, THEFT, AUTO, DENTAL, HEALTH
WITH THE OPTIONAL DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT PLAN
WATER DAMAGE.
THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
MINE TOO.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
OH, LET'S NOT SPOIL IT.
OH! LET'S NOT...
OH... I GOT THAT.
(meows)
WHY CAN'T I LOOK?
BECAUSE YOU BOTHER ME, A LOT.
I'M GETTING COLD.
HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO SIT HERE?
I'M GIVING YOU YOUR MONEY'S WORTH.
YOU PAID TOP DOLLAR FOR ME.
WELL, I THINK YOU WERE A BARGAIN.
IT'S SWEET OF YOU TO SAY.
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
IS IT FINISHED YET?
ALMOST. I STILL HAVE TO PUT SOME CHERRY SYRUP ON THE TOP
AND THEN WE CAN EAT IT.
COME ON. I'M FREEZING.
LET ME TURN IT INTO THE LIGHT.
IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
I KNOW YOUR FACE SO WELL
I COULD HAVE DONE IT WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
IT'S LOVELY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I DO.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'M HAPPY NOW
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
I THINK I'M HAPPY TOO.
## Babe ##
## I got you, babe ##
## They say our love won't pay the rent ##
## Before it's earned, our money's all been spent... ##
Oh, please, not again.
That is a great song.
No, it's not.
MMM... IT'S TOO EARLY.
OOH.
SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT.
GOOD OR BAD?
ANYTHING DIFFERENT IS GOOD.
MMM...
BUT THIS COULD BE REAL GOOD.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I BOUGHT YOU.
I OWN YOU.
BUT WHY ARE YOUSTILLHERE?
YOU SAID STAY, SO I STAYED.
I SAID STAY, SO YOU STAYED?
MM-HMM.
I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A COLLIE STAY.
I GOT TO CHECK SOMETHING.
JUST STAY.
THEY'RE GONE.
THEY'RE ALL GONE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?
NO. WHAT?
TODAY IS TOMORROW.
IT HAPPENED.
YOU'RE HERE.
I'M HERE.
OOH, PHIL, WHY WEREN'T YOU LIKE THIS LAST NIGHT?
YOU JUST FELL ASLEEP.
IT WAS THE END OF A VERY LONG DAY.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU TODAY?
I'M SURE I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING.
Phil: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
LET'S LIVE HERE.
WE'LL RENT TO START.
## WHAT A DAY THIS HAS BEEN ##
## WHAT A RARE MOOD I'M IN ##
## WHY, IT'S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE ##
## THERE'S A SMILE ON MY FACE ##
## FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE ##
## WHY, IT'S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE ##
## ALL THE MUSIC OF LIFE SEEMS TO BE ##
## LIKE A BELL THAT IS RINGING FOR ME ##
## AND FROM THE WAY THAT I FEEL ##
## WHEN THAT BELL STARTS TO PEAL ##
## I WOULD SWEAR I WAS FALL ##
## SWEAR I WAS FALLING ##
## WHY, IT'S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE. ##
(calypso-pop)
## PREDICTIONS SHOW A STEADY LOW ##
## YOU'RE FEELIN' JUST THE SAME ##
## BUT SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO ##
## I'LL MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN ##
## IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, TAKE ME BY THE HAND ##
## CAN'T YOU FEEL YOU'RE WARMIN' UP ##
## YEAH, I'M YOUR WEATHERMAN ##
## COLD WINDS BLOWIN' ##
## COLD ##
## SNOW IS DRIVIN' EVERYONE INSANE ##
## A HARD RAIN'S FALLIN' ##
## HARD RAIN'S FALLIN' ##
## PITTER-PATTER DOWN YOUR WINDOWPANE ##
## IF PRECIPITATION IS SPOILIN' ON YOUR PLANS ##
## JUST CALL INFORMATION UP ##
## 'CAUSE I'M YOUR WEATHERMAN ##
## WELL, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE ##
## CALL YOUR WEATHERMAN ##
## WELL, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE ##
## I CAN WARM YOU UP ##
## IT'S JUST YOUR WEATHERMAN. ##